Michelle Carey

Author || Blogger || Podcaster || Screenwriter || Poet

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Twenty Ten Rear-view Mirror

Okay, so this time last year, I had my one of my closest friends living with me.  She had just been put out of her parents house and didn’t have any where to go.  So I told her to come stay with me for a few weeks - just to clear her mind - and get herself together. 

I remember all of us (me, her, my kids) all been shacked up in my room watching the ball drop on t.v.  And I remember the feeling I had about wanting my life to be different.  New decade.  I had said good bye (and forgave myself) for all the bad decisions I had made and it was time to start fresh.

January - I was really excited.  I was dating this guy, that I could not understand were we going.  Was it a relationship?  Was it not a relationship? I was feeling very conflicted and confused about it all.  At the end of the month we were going on a ski trip that I could not wait to get over.

Also in January, on Founder’s Day, for Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc., I was invited to their informational for women who were aspiring to be Zetas.  This empowered me. On that day, I felt I could fly.  All that I had been feeling about messed up relationship status was washed away after I came out of that meeting.  EMPOWERED!

So by the time my 39th birthday came, I was really feeling good about myself.  I was not going to stress myself any longer about what was going between dude and I.  Matter of fact, the same day we were leaving the ski trip, I dropped him.

February - Snow storms. Snowed in for days. I started working out.  I started thinking about what was best for me.  My attitude had changed.  I was not going to play anymore cat and mouse games with men about what I wanted.

March - Working out - losing weight.  My friend decided it was time for her to leave. And so she left shortly before her birthday. I was really feeling I was on top of my game!

April - See this is where EVERYTHING changes.  So by now, I had accepted being single.  I was losing weight, I was feeling good about myself. My life. I had planned a trip to Jamaica for me and my friends for January 2011 for my 40th birthday, so life was good.  Nothing to complain about.

Until April 10th. Wow...so I’m sitting in the parking lot at the bowling alley and my phone rings.  It was CAC, someone I had been bowling with for a couple of years.  He breaks down and tells me he’s had a crush on me and I’m like wow.  Now in the past, I felt like we had a connection.  We’d flirt all the time, but he had girlfriends and my image of him was not what I was really looking for. You how us girls, love them BAD BOYS! And my impression of him was far from BAD BOY...it was more like GEEK!

BUT - this is 2010 - and I was committed to doing something DIFFERENT.

So a week later we went out on a date.  We went to the National Harbour. No money spent.  I just wanted to sit and talk.  It had been my first time going to the new spot in town, so I was not concerned with him taking me out.  I just wanted to talk.  I wanted to see if I could vibe with him...and needless to say, I remember getting home at 5am. All we did was talk all night.  It was great.

And lets just say the rest is history - the one thing that gets me the most is we are married now. There was not any point in waiting, we both knew this is what we wanted. We are both established and felt in our hearts it was the right thing to do.

So on this last day of 2010, I am now a married woman. I feel the vibe of happiness and a vibe of so many great things ahead of me.  I’m writing again. I’m having a good time with my kids, my dog, my family, my friends.  Going to Jamaica to celebrate my 40th!  I’m living my life on a grand stage.

It’s amazing how in 364 days your life can change because of one day.

In May, I crossed over - I'm a Zeta. And I'm so pleased to call myself a FINER WOMAN!

I even loss some weight! Don't know how much, I won't get on the scale, but my clothes are fitting snug anymore. 

I have traveled a lot this year, more than I ever have.  I've gone to New Orleans, Philly a couple of times, Pittsburgh, skiing at Seven Springs, North & South Carolina, deep Virginia, and Delaware.  That's a good year for me with traveling, seeing as though I don't go anywhere that often.  2011 is going to be even more traveling.  We are going to Jamaica.  We have Vegas on our list and I'm hoping to get back to Miami. 

In all, I'm very pleased!

Happy 2011!

Be Free...