Michelle Carey

Author | Screenwriter | Poet | Podcaster

Copyright © 1998 - 2019, Michelle S Carey. Sunrai Multimedia, LLC. All rights reserved.

MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON: My heartfelt reflection of a childhood love.....he is too large for life to ever die.

In 1982, my mother's coworker gave me an album as a Christmas gift. It
was Michael Jackson's Thriller. Prior to receiving his life changing
gift, I knew of the Jackson 5. My mother would play their Christmas
album every Christmas...you know the one with that looked like the
Jackson 5 were wrapped like a present with the red bow. I loved that
album. I was even a fan of their J5 cartoon.

But it wasn't until Thriller that I became a die hard fan. I was about
11 years at the time when I received the Thriller album. I was a
student at Hardy Middle School in Georgetown at the time and I would
come to school with Michael Jackson buttons all over my shirt. I
decorated my room with so many Michael Jackson, The Jacksons, and Janet
Jackson posters, there wasn't even an inch of white wall space. Yes,
that includes the ceiling.

I had the red jacket with the zippers, a white sparkle glove, and even a
Jheri curl (but curls were the bizness during that time. lol) I
honestly felt I was a member of the Jackson family. LOL I remember I
use to sign my name Michelle R Sweeny J. In my mind I was destined to
be Michael Jackson's wife. I had a serious crush on MJ. LMAO. I loved
the posters of him in the yellow sweater and the brown leather jacket. I
owned the Thriller with the behind scenes footage with Ola Ray. I
wanted to visit Encino. I was ready to stalk the hell out of MJ if need be!

My aunt took me to the Victory tour concert in 1984 at the Capital
Centre...I remember standing in line for tickets for HOURS...but when
she was able finally secure the tickets...I FAINTED. I taped his videos,
I studied them. I was obsessed. I remember clearly having discussions
with my friend Marcia (she being a HUGE Prince fan) about how much
greater MJ was over Prince. LOL It was not possible during that time to
be both a MJ fan AND a Prince fan....it was just unheard of. YOU had
pick a side. The only other most prominent music personality that was
neutral was Madonna. This was the early 80s baby. I then became a HUGE
Janet Jackson fan.

I knew the Jackson family in order Rebbie (real name Maureen), Jackie
(real name Sigmund), Tito (real name Toriano), Jermaine, La Toya, Marlon
(who was actually a twin - other twin was named Brandon), Michael, Randy
(real name Steven), and Janet. I remember Tito's son's forming the group
3T and when their mother died - she drowned in a pool. I even remember
when Randy's girlfriend and the mother of his two kids ended up marrying
his brother Jermaine and gave birth to two more children. Yes, they are
siblings and cousins. That's CRAZY. But that's how the Jacksons
were....No one ever really thought that family was stable...they were
the poster family for dysfunction.

I have love for this family like they were my own. Hence, I am terribly
saddened by MJ's demised. In the later years, I chose to distance
myself from my love of MJ because of all of his personal issues and the
desecration of his face. I couldn't believe that someone as cute and
fine as him would alter himself into what he had become. I find it
ironic that I just mentioned to my coworker about two weeks ago that MJ
was going to die soon. In all, MJ was a very sick man in so many ways.
His illness manifested itself out of his fame, out of the millions of
dollars, out of the enablers, out of some family members needing his
star power to fill their coffers, out of his need to be a perfectionist
and out of his need to just top himself in every project he took on...

I realize now...there was no reason for me to try to publicly denounce
my love for the greatest performer that has ever walked this earth. Yes,
I am seriously in a state of mourning. I am utterly shocked and just
dazed that Michael Jackson as transitioned...it was like he was too
large for life to ever die. It is my job now to ensure his rich legacy
lives on by ensuring my children are aware of his contributions to
music, music videos and performance/entertainment as a whole.

I love you Michael Joseph Jackson as you were loved by millions, may
your soul and sweet spirit moonwalk with the angels........

Michelle R Sweeny J.