I'm Ok | Filling the void
So my mother thought something was SERIOUSLY wrong with me when she read my previous blog post. lol
When I write my blogs, I write for the feelings I'm having at that moment in time. Yesterday I was feeling stuck. Today I'm feeling knowledgeable about a situation that had been affecting me. But this is how I am. Whatever mood I'm in is whatever presents itself in my blog on that day I decide to write.
This is why this is the REAL TALK BLOG. Nothing fake or phony about where I'm coming from. The raw me...on that day and time...you get what you get when you get it. :-)
I realized that yesterday's blog made me understand that I'm in need of filling a void. Purchasing two additional cars to the one I already own is my way of filling a void I have in my life. I had also made a decision that I wanted to move to a single family home. I have a lovely home. But now I want more...this is all to fill a void. But in actuality this void cannot be filled with materialistic items. All that does it make it worse and I'll just want more. And giving myself more won't help with what ultimately ails me.
I know what that void is. Companionship. I guess after being in so many dead end relationships one begins to wonder what's wrong with me? And I realized after speaking to my kindred soul sister that NOTHING is wrong with me...I just need to understand where I am in life and where I want to go and how this journey is not about these dead end relationships but it's about me. It's about me seeing things for what they really are and NOT how I want them to be.
I'm taking off my rose colored glasses.
Her words and the words of my wonderful mother helped to sooth me. I'm still trying to figure out who I am lol because I'm about to go on the most powerful journey one could ever take and that's the journey of transformation in understanding, patience and kindness.
I am learning about how life does not revolve around me....that there is something greater out there and I should be apart of it. It's about how I have to understand and accept where people are.
It's time to accept, appreciate and atone.
Kindness fills my heart.
*The REAL TALK BLOG has an RSS feed to my Facebook Notes page, NetworkedBlogs and my ZETAZEN Author's Page on Amazon.com - The Real Talk Blog is also linked to Twitter through my Twitterfeed.